Dad's parents arrived from Ireland in 1889 and 1890, then met, wed, and
had seven children. He was their youngest, as I was his. Gerry, one of his brothers, had 10 kids. Dad wanted more than three but Mom declined.
"A barfly husband was enough millstone," she told me decades later.
Dad's parents settled in Brooklyn. They pooled savings with other Irish to open a saloon. It failed after the males drank too much of their product. Dad's Mom moved her brood to Philly. He was born there in 1908, as was I in 1945.
In my mind, booze, Irish and Catholicism are inseparable. The priesthood seemed the only sure way for an Irish male to avoid becoming a drunk. Neither appealed to me, although my maternal grandmother was keen that I become Father Duffy. She read my shyness as a sure sign that I had a higher calling, as did my eighth-grade classmates. They voted me Most Likely to Become a Priest. High-school classmates voted me Shyest Senior Boy.
Bars were Dad's church. They solaced his gripes, and he needn't know other patrons to savor their company. His face at midnight when he returned from hours at the Starlight Tavern radiated inner joy, as though he'd been on religious retreat.
He first took me to a bar when I was five. It was The Liederkrantz, located in Pottsville, Pennsylvania's coal-mining area. I recall the scents of stale beer, ashtrays and urinals. Also Dad's grin as he slid his mug in front of me.
"Go on," he said, "take a sip." Patrons smiled as I looked up from the barstool at the beer's foam.
We were living in a three-story, ramshackle house with Mom's parents and sister. I had my own bedroom, and wouldn't have another until I turned eighteen. It was on the third floor, adjoining that of my parents.
I'd wet the bed at night when my parents were out. They were still young enough to enjoy time together, and living with Mom's parents provided babysitters. She'd look in on me when they returned, smell the wet sheets
and scold me, albeit gently, while changing them.
"It's okay," I explained. "Pee smells like cowboys."
